


A Love that doesn't lead to anywhere

by rosestories



Series: Shumdario I [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Kissing, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-10-19 11:23:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17600414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosestories/pseuds/rosestories
Summary: This is the first volume of two series.This is pure fiction about Harry Shum Jr & Matthew Daddario. Sorry for any mistakes but I wrote it last year (2018),  and didn’t check the grammar.This will apply as well for the second volume and last one, of the shumdario series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure fiction about Harry Shum Jr & Matthew Daddario. Sorry once again for any mistakes but I’ve wrote last year this story.   
> Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

"What? Harry we are not playing our parts now,we finished filming some minutes ago. This is really funny but it has its own limits,tell me that this is a joke right?"said Matthew seriously and with a shocked expression.

(One week ago)

Harry was laying down  in his living room with a cup of coffee in his hand while Shelby was sleeping on the other sofa. He was checking his twitter and answering to all the fans questions;it was 3 p.m and at 5 p.m he has to leave to play a Malec scene for the tv series Shadowhunters. 

He stood up trying to not wake up Shelby and put the cup on the little table and went to his room. 

He sat on his bed and took his agenda that was on his little table in the room as usual,he opened it to check better if the work was at that hour. It was written: 5 p.m Malec scene in which they have to talk about an important issue that was going on with the Downworlders,8 p.m the first time of Malec and which they have to make a very special part. He put it on its place and went in the bathroom. He took off his cloths and entered in the shower leaving his them on the floor. Once he finished he went to his room and dressed up with a pair of fresh cloths placed on his bed.

Blue jeans and a blue t-shirt with a black shorts  jacket on,he checked out the hour and it still was an hour left. He loved his character,Magnus Bane,he went through a dark past but when in his life came a young shadowhunter,he  unlocked something in him and so their relationship developed. Alec become his boyfriend who loves him so much and he would do anything to make him happy. He was played by Matthew Daddario which he played  magnificently,Alec Lightwood who's  a gay shadowhunter who fell in love with a bisexual warlock. He was lost in his thoughts when he looked at the time and saw that it was left 30 minutes till their scene. 

He took quickly his car keys and went out from the door and called the elevator to go to the garage. Once he was there he entered in his car and turned on the engine while pushing the bottom to open the gate. Once he get out form it suddenly it began to rain very hardly. "Damn it! I didn't took the umbrella!"said Harry while he was driving to his work place. The weather weren't helping him and on top of that the streets were busy,when it rains there's always the traffic. 

There was ten minutes left before their scene and Harry decided to took something to eat at the bakery who was near his work place. He parked the car near the bakery and entered in it. "Goodmorning,I would like to buy some slices of 

pizza and please also a bottle of water."said Harry while he was taking the money from his wallet.

He greeted the bakery man and went out while eating his pizza who took off from the bag shop.

He made in time to their scene because wen he arrived,there was still filming a Clace scene which they had to remake it because Dom began to laugh at Kat because she said  the wrong lines. 

"We have to remake it! Another time! One,three and action!"yelled the Director. Harry laughed at it and without lose anymore time he went to his dressing room to change his cloths into Magnus.

There was another thug  who Harry loves so much about his character,he always wears fancy and amazing cloths and the personality of his character,that tells always what he thinks. All of this makes also the character very funny and particular. 

Harry was sat on his his chair in front of the mirror putting some eyeshadow on his eyes when he heard a knock on his door. "Come."said him. The door opened and there was Matthew dressed as Alec,"Sorry did I interrupted you?"asked with a low voice. Harry without taking his gaze off from the mirror replied, "not all,come in Matt." 

Matthew leave the door half open and looked at Harry. "How are you?"asked him. Harry this time took off his gaze from the mirror and looked at him with a lightly smile. "Fine thanks. What part do we have to play?"asked him. "First the part where Magnus and Alec are talking about some important issues about the Downworlders and the Clave. Then later we have Malec first time."the last words he said it with a low voice but with a straight face. 

Harry nodded. "Thank you. Um.. I need to change into Magnus cloths so see you soon."said Harry with a calm voice. "Oh right,see you later."said Matthew and went out from the room.

 

 

  * 


 


	2. chapter two

 

"Stop! We will make a break for five minutes!"shouted the director at Matthew and Harry that were making a scene of Malec.

The two actors stopped playing their parts and the director went towards Harry. "If you aren't feeling well just tell me,you can take a rest."This was the second time that they stopped the scene cause of Harry who forgot his lines or said the wrong lines. Harry nodded and apologise to him. The rest of the cast were on the other room to make a break while Matthew and Harry were still on the set,sat on the bed. "Everything is okay buddy?"asked Matthew,seeing that he was spacing out with his mind. "I'm sorry Matthew for before. I'm fine thank you,don't worry about me."said him.

Matthew gave to him a lightly tap on his shoulder and that made Harry feels shiver along his body and his heart made a jump and made him felt a strange feeling. Harry unconsciously stared at Matthew and get lost in his eyes smiling lightly. "Harry? We are about to start the scene again. Are you ready?"asked Matthew. Harry blinked twice and as if he just woke up by a dream,"Uhm...yes I'm ready."answered caught by surprise. The director explained to them the scene they were about to make. Both of them nodded and placed on the bed where they were supposed to play. The scene was the first time of Malec and in this part they had to put all their effort to make the scene perfect. They had to lay on the bed and kissing each other;Harry felt as a jolt through his body that made him feels shiver in his body,they began the kiss and when their lips met,Harry felt as if they were only the two of them in the room. He let the kiss carry him and melt in it and without even realising it,he get a bit carried away and put a bit of his tongue in it. When they broke the kiss,Harry whispered in a low voice "love...you"the sentence was cut and in the moment he realised what he just said he blinked twice his eyes and when was about to say something,he was cut by the director.

"Stop! Great work everybody!"yelled him with enthusiasm. Harry in that moment he realised  what he just said but he hoped that Mathew didn't heard him. 'It's impossible,i said it in a very low voice and probably he thought that it was a part of the role.' thought Harry. 

It was 8 p.m when they finished the new episode and Harry was in his dressing room while a girl from the stuff was removing his make up. "Great work today,Harry."she said. 

Harry thanked her and waited until his make up was completely removed. "You can change yourself into your normal cloths and if you need help to remove the jewels juts call me."she said and left the room. Harry looked in the mirror and sighed. 'I just hope that he didn't noticed it! What's wrong with me?! Oh my God! I just hope that he didn't notice it!'thought Harry while he grabbed slowly his hair and looked down. 30 minutes passed and Harry was ready to go home and finally he could relax. Harry took all his stuff and went out from the room meeting Matthew that was about to go home but turned towards him as soon as he saw him.

"Harry!"said Matthew. Harry gestured with his hand and went towards him.  "Do you have any plans for the weekend? Since tomorrow is Saturday,I was thinking if you would like to join us to the beach. We rented a loft near the beach and I was wondering if you would like to come." Harry expression changed and a lightly smile appeared on his face. "Of course. Who will come?"asked him. "Dom,Kat,Alberto,Em,I and Esther. You can bring Shelby,we will have so much fun all together."said Matthew. It took a while for him to answer and finally he said it.

"Of course,thank you Matthew. Let me know when I have to be ready." They greeted each other to then go in different ways.


	3. Chapter Three

 

“Hi honey! How work has been?”asked Shelby when Harry stepped inside the house. Harry have to her a soft kiss on her lips and Shelby went to the living room. “Good,we have done a great and important part of the show. I’m really tired I go straight to the shower.”said him while he was taking off his jacket and disappeared in the bathroom. Shelby nodded and turn on the tv. Once he was in the bathroom,he took off his cloths and stared in the mirror. He sighed thinking about what happened this evening at the set,it was a strange feeling that it almost hurts inside his chest,as if someone stabbed him straight in his heart. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply and then he open up his eyes. He entered in the shower and let it that the water scrolled down on his body,he focused on the hot water and started to remember the part they made on set. He get lost in it,he remembered every movements they made,in that part Alec was under Magnus kissing each other as if they depend on it.

The movements were slowly but sweet at the same time as if they were the only one in that moment.

Harry began to feel pleasure,remembering every movements and suddenly he felt something under his private parts,a hand who’s was touching his member slowly,making slow movements up and down. 

 

He get lost in that pleasure,in that touch that he opened his eyes and with surprise on his face he felt guilty. He looked at his hand,it was his hand. Dirty and with a white liquid on it. 

Harry felt disgusted and guilty looking at himself with a disgusted expression. 

It was because Matthew was his best friend and he has a girlfriend which he loved her. “W-what have I done? 

This is so wrong... what the hell is wrong with me? I have a wonderful wife,what the hell...”he stared at his own hands with widen eyes as if he was scared to even look at his face. He blinked twice and went out from the shower grabbed roughly the towel and began to dry himself and then he dressed up. He put on his black t-shirt  and boxers on and went out from the bathroom. Shelby feel asleep with a book on her face and with the light on. Harry smiled at her trying to remove those dirty thoughts of before,he turned off the light and entered in the bed. He fell in a deep sleep.

He woke up by the light of the sun,lazily he opened his eyes spacing out. Shelby was already awake,she was probably in the kitchen making breakfast. Harry smelled the smell of coffe and stood up from the bed to go towards the kitchen. “Morning darling.”did him. She smiled at him and gave a kiss on his cheek,”morning handsome.”she replied.

Harry sat on the chair. “Honey,Matthew invited us to spend the weekend in a house they rent it. There will be,us,Matthew and Ester,Dom,Alberto,Katherine and Emeroude. 

Do you want to come?”asked him. 

Shelby turned back and smiled at him.

 

“I’m sorry Harry but I’m  not feeling well,I think I’m having a fever.”she said.

“If you’re not feeling well I can stay here at home with you. I can’t leave you here alone.” Said him and then he picked  the phone and looked at the messages that Matt send it to him,it was written <We will pick you up at 3 p.m wit the others.> “they will come at 3 p.m. but I can stay here if you’re not feeling well.”he said.

 

“Don’t worry about me honey,I want you to have fun with your friends. I will be fine.”she said smiling. Harry looked at her with a sad smile but he couldn’t insist if she wasn’t  feeling well. “Okay. I will slowly pack my things for the trip.” It was 3 p.m when Matthew called Harry on his phone. “Matt? Are you out already?”he asked. “Yes,I’m here with the others. I will wait for you.”he said and then he hang up. Harry took his stuff and  put the charge for his phone and then he went to the living room. “I’m going,I hope you will feel better. If there’s anything you need or want just call me and I will come here.”he gave a kiss on her lips and then he went out towards the car where Matt was. “How are you guys?”asked Harry greeting the others. 

There was Em,Kat,Dom,Alberto and Matt and Ester. “Shelby didn’t come?”asked Emeroude. 

“She was feeling sick,probably she has a fever.”he said sadly. “I’m sorry,I hope she will be alright.”said Katherine. “Then let’s go.”said Matthew. “How long will it be?”asked Harry. 

 

“Two hours.”replied Matthew. Harry nodded and looked outside the car window. After one hour they stopped at a service station to make a break and to buy something to eat. Matthew stopped the car and parked it in the parking.

“Who’s hungry?”asked Emeroude. Everybody raised their hands. “Dom,Kat,Ester and me will go and buy foods for everyone. Harry and Matt can wait here if they don’t have to go to the toilet.”said Em. “I don’t need to go to the toilet,you Harry?”asked Matthew. Harry shook his head. “If you need some help you can call me.”he said to Em. She smiled and went with the others towards the service station. 

In the car there was silence but Matthew broke up it. “One hour and we will arrive. The house is pretty beautiful,I have saw some photos on internet.”he said. “Oh I can’t wait to see it.”replied Harry. Since that day it was a bit awkward talking to Matthew for Harry,even if he was his best friend. Why should he feel like that? Thought Harry. Maybe it was just his imagination. The silence was a bit terrible to bear it but fortunately they others came with many drinks and foods. Once they entered in the car,they gave to everyone their foods and drinks. They decided to eat them in the car since they wanted to come not too late at the house. 5 p.m they arrived at the house,it had also the parking  for the car. Everyone went out from the car. “Yes finally!”yelled Katherine. 

“I’m so tired!”said Emeroude. 

 

After 40 minutes they choose their rooms and put all their things in the house. Alberto and Dom choose a room together since they were best friend;Kat , Em and Ester choose a room together because they were very good friends and they always loved to gossip about new cloths and stuff like that. 

 

Harry and Matt had their room together too because they were practically best friends. 

Matt didn’t complained,he was happy to stay with his best friend,

he liked talk with Harry and  always makes funny jokes.

The out their stuff on the tow chairs who where in the room. 

 

The house was quite huge and very beautiful,the style was vintage and it had a very big garden around it. “You were right,the house is amazing.”said Harry. Mathew nodded.

“Today we will eat pizza.”said Matthew. 

“I love pizza.”replied  Harry.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter Four

After have inaugurated the house eaten pizza,the group went in the little village where there was some shops and to buy some foods for the two days. Kat,Dom and Ester went to the food shop to buy some foods while Harry,Matthew and Emeroude went to the ice cream shop to buy some ice cream. They took two boxes of ice cream they went towards the house that was some metres away from the village. They arrived at the house and put one of the ice cream box inside the fridge. Some minutes ago came the others with many shop bags in their hands. “Could you help us with  this?”said Kat and leaded then on the table in the kitchen. Dom leaded other two bags shop on it and began to put on their place the stuff that were in. “This was the last one.”said Kat once they finished. “I’m so tired! I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight guys!”said Emeroude.

 

“Night!”said Ester and Kat. “Who wants to watch a movie?”asked Dom while he was searching a DVD. “I’m in”said Matthew and sat on the sofa. “Harry do you want to watch it?”asked Dom once he chosen the movie.

It took some minutes to Harry to answer,he wanted to but at the same time he didn’t wanted because for what he felt when he was near Matthew. 

 

And seeing him it reminded of the other day in the  shower but he shook his head and tried to not think about it.

“Yes,what movie do you want to watch?”asked Harry. They chosen the movie by Di Caprio,a live action called ‘Inception’. After one hour Dom fell asleep with the can of beer in his hands while Harry and Matthew were still awake. “I will go to sleep.”said Matthew. 

“Me too,I’m really tired.”said Harry. 

Harry turned off the TV and removed the movie. 

( Matthew PV)

I didn’t wanted to bother Harry,but he seemed a bit upset since the other day but when we started this trip,he seemed more upset.

Since he worked harder too,I’m sure that he will relaxed in this two days. The scene we made the other day it was great,I admired very much Harry because he’s really good at acting but since that day something seemed went to the opposite side. When we made that part,Harry seemed distracted but maybe it was my imagination. 

 

I felt something when we were acting that day,I don’t know how to explain it but Ifelt something when we were doing the first time of Malec,maybe it was just my imagination. I went upstairs where my room was and Harry was already there,he was taking his cloths off and I don’t know why but that made me feel embarrassed. I already saw it with his naked chest but in that moment I felt like that. Harry suddenly jumped because I scared him. “You scared me,Matthew! Knock before.”said him. “I’m sorry. You will use the shower?”I asked. “Yes I was going to but if you want I can wait. “No,it’s okay I will wait.”I said.

Then Harry went inside the bathroom.

* * *

‘Not again’ thought Harry,he couldn’t help but this feeling was growing more and more. He should have changed the room since they arrived but he agreed to it,thinking that he would have bear it but it wasn’t as he thought. 

Harry didn’t wanted to do a shower because it just reminded of that day but he had to and the worse thing was that Matthew was in the same room. 

 

This wasn’t right but he couldn’t stop this feeling,it was burning inside his chest as fire and it was hurting him inside his heart. 

But just the thought of Matthew that will use the same shower made him feeling a bit horny.

“Damn.”whispered him. But his hand slipped under his lower parts and began to touch it thinking about that Matthew would have used the same shower. He touched his dick up and down with faster movements. “Ahh...”he let out a moan form his mouth. He opened his eyes and realised what he has just done. “Fuck!”this time he raised a bit louder his voice. “Did Matt heard it?!? Fuck!”thought Harry. He dirtied the shower with his white substance. He washed it down from the wall of the shower. “Harry are you okay? I heard something  strange. Are you okay?”asked Matthew to the other side. 

 

Harry didn’t even heard it because he was too busy with his lower part which was hard again and so he put cold water on it. Matthew entered in the bathroom and froze when he saw Harry. “What are you doing?”asked shocked Matt. Harry realised it only now that he hadn’t locked the door and so immediately covered his dick. “You could have knocked!”said surprised and angrily Harry.

“I’m sorry I thought something bad happened to you... but it seems....” Mathew looked at Harry erection and blinked twice his eyes. 

“Don’t worry it’s normal. Well...I will wait until you have done.”said Matthew and closed the door. Harry breathed heavily and his face became all red for the embarrassment. 

 

‘What the fuck is wrong with me?!’thought him.

Harry was finished and put his t-shirt and boxer on. Matthew entered in the shower and noticed some white thing ikon the shower wall. He washed it,he hoped that it wasn’t what he just thought. But he remembered when he entered in the shower before and Harry was doing something but probably he get it wrong.

Probably he was just washing his lower part,after all it isn’t strange. 

Once Matthew finished the shower he went out from the bathroom and

saw Harry who was already sleeping. He entered in his bed and closed his eyes. “Night Harry.”said him.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

(Harry PV)  
I would never have imagined to find myself in such a situation,it should be only a normal and pleasant trip but it turned out to be a hard situation.   
(8p.m the previous day) Dom,Kat and the others organised a final party since it was their last day of their trip. Three days already passed so quickly,it was sad to leave tomorrow but we had to because on Tuesday we will had to film the next scenes for the show. Dom had the great idea to make a barbecue in the garden of the house,that’s why this morning we bought some meats and the necessary furnitures for it. We put a big table in the centre of the garden with plastic chairs,we used plastic plates so we could had throw them in the trash. We were eating while we were telling each other our most embarrassing moments that we had in our life. I was glad to a part that Matt didn’t asked or said anything since the accident from the other day but to the other part I was a bit nervous because I cloud feel a weird feeling around us but probably it was just me. Sometimes I had this strange feeling every time was with Ester,a mix of sadness and anger but what could I do,nothing and it wasn’t even right to feel like this but I couldn’t help it. I never have been gay,I was straight for all my life but something was happening and that was scaring me.   
Maybe this feeling was just a misunderstanding,maybe something temporary and maybe I was mistaking it for something else. I missed Shelby and I was sad that she didn’t came but I had also fun during this days with my friends and a little break from my daily life was good. Matt was sat near Ester and I in from of them with beside Dom,Kat and Emeroude. “Harry has ever happens something really embarrassing?”asked Dom while he was trying to not laugh since Matt before told us a very funny and embarrassing moment.   
The first thing that came in my mind was the other day,the accident wit the shower but I couldn’t say it and so I invented something at the moment. We finished eating and some of them stayed in the garden to enjoy drinking and talking. I went in the house to take something to drink and sat on the sofa;later came Matt in and took a drink too from the little table where it was some alcohols. “How things are going?”asked Matt,I know he was talking about me and Shelby. I took a sip of the red whine,”good,very good.”I replied.   
The situation became awkward and so I stood up and took another glass of the red whine. After a while,I don’t know how but we drunk all the auburn that was on the table. My head hurt pretty much,probably I drunk too much but I still didn’t realised it and I began to laugh without any reason. Matt went along with me and laughed too and we stayed like that for a while.  
For unknown reason I stood up and went towards the garden but to my surprise everyone fell asleep,Dom was sleeping on the grass,Kat was sleeping on the chair and Emeroude and Ester were sleeping near each other on the grass. I made a confuse face because one second ago it was only 9 p.m but when I looked at my watch it was signed ‘2 a.m’. How time went so fast? Staggering I went towards my room that seemed so far form the living room and without falling I did it to my room.   
The room was dark and while entering in it I fell into something but I didn’t have care and and took off my cloths threw them on the floor and leaving only my boxer on. I was about to enter in the bed when the door opened and a figure in the dark appeared. It stopped in front of me,”Harry? Are you here?”it was Matt,I could recognise his voice everywhere.   
He sat in the bed near me and suddenly began to laugh and we both did for a while.   
We stopped and suddenly Matt spoke.   
“Harry”,called me with a sensual voice,”come here”he said pointing to where I should have come. I stood up staggering,my head was dizzy but I made it without falling. “Put down you’re too tall”said him laughing. I did it as he said without asking me why and I laughed too.  
I stopped laughing and when I looked at him I went more closer to him and began to take off his boxer putting them on the same high of his knees,I saw his penis pop out from his boxer.  
My hand went to it as if I was trying to find what it was. My hand moved making slow movements up and down,I heard Matt heavily breath and inside me grew a strong feeling of pleasure and just touching it wasn’t enough,I wanted to know the taste. I came closer with my head put it in my mouth liking his prostate;Matt began to let out from his mouth loud moans and put a bit his head back. While I was sucking it,I felt the urge to touch me,to touch my penis. I began to masturbate myself with fast movements while I was making moans of pleasure with my mouth as I had Matt penis inside my mouth. I felt that Matt came inside my mouth making a loud moans,a liquid inside my mouth came in and I felt the urge to split it on the floor. Matt closed his eyes and fell on the bed into a deeply sleep and me I laid down next to him. Was this a dream? I was too sleepy and my head was too dizzy to even answer to that question.


	6. Chapter 6

(Harry PV)  
My head was hurting me so much, as if it was not enough the sunlight that was coming from the window was preventing me to open my eyes. After few seconds I found the strenght to get up and to open slowly my eyes, my head was spinning. When I managed to open well my eyes, I saw that I was wearing nothing,but only the boxers. What the hell I did?!? But my fear grew when I saw that next to me there was Matt. What the hell we are doing naked? Suddenly various memories from the previous night came back in my mind, I thought it was just a perverse dream but the fact that I was naked was raising my fault. Did we do it?!?  
It was the first question that came up my mind. I was trying to remember, but the memories were like blurry and I couldn’t put them together. I went to the bathroom to take a shower, I felt dirty. I opened the hot water and I let it flow on me, suddenly I felt a weird taste in my mouth and some memories came back to my mind.   
I remembered that I was on my knee and doing something and there was Matt who was sat in front of me...I can’t believe it! I was doing a blowjob,I sucked my best friend dick!   
What the hell have I done?!? I felt guilty and dirty inside as if I had committed a crime.   
It was alcohol fault but in that moment my feelings came out and I couldn’t hold myself but the alcohol made it worst. How can I do this to my best friend?!? He has a girlfriend which he loves and I have a wonderful person with me and I’m married. I felt dirty even though I washed myself with the soap,the feeling of dirty inside me will never go because I was my mind,my memory that was.   
Tears fallen down on the shower floor,the water was still flowing,I kneeled down on the floor and bursted into a silence cry. I stayed for about five minutes under the shower crying because I knew that this memory will never erased. I went out from the shower and took a towel putting it around my waist. I looked in the mirror but what I saw wasn’t the usual Harry but another one more guilty,more dirty.   
I looked away from it and began to dress up.   
As I get out from it,I saw Matt that was slowly get up while he was massaging both sides of his head. When he opened his eyes he surprised when he saw me and in that moment I started to sweat cold and hoping that he will never ask me or even remembered about last night. “Morning”I said with a hoarse voice smiling a bit. Matt greeted me back but he didn’t stopped massaging his head.   
“Did you slept well!”asked him.   
“Good”I replied almost stuttering. As if he has just noticed it now he asked me the question that I never wanted to hear. “Why I’m naked?”he asked.   
I stayed for some seconds in silent,not knowing if I should tell him the truth. Of course not,stupid me! How can I tell to him that I did a blowjob to him?!? So I invented something.   
“Yesterday night your drunk too much and suddenly you started to took off your cloths even if I told you not to do it but you did it and once you was on the bed you fall immediately asleep.”I said to him forcing a smile on my face and not showing the guilt.   
Matt seemed to believe at my lie. “It’s a shame that we have to come back,I would have love to stay here for another days.” I nodded making a smile. “I will go and prepare myself and later we should go to others to ask them when we will leave.”he said. I nodded and Matt went in the bathroom.  
This situation remind me of the character that Matt plays,Alec. He at the end fought for his feelings and for his love to stay with the person he fall in love with and he won. But what should he do if he were in my situation? What should I do? A question of which I will never have an answer.   
Two hours later,it was 4 p.m and everyone was putting their garbages in the car. I was the last one to arrive and found everyone who were already in the car. I put my stuff inside the baggage car and entered in the car sitting behind the driver.


	7. Chapter 7

(Matt PV)  
The trip took two hours and when we arrived we were all tired and sad since our little holiday was over. It began when we returned from the trip that Harry has began to act strange. And the last day the night before when we all of us were drunk,I didn’t remember much but the next day he told me what happened,I couldn’t believe him totally. I didn’t know why but there was something that was missing from the story he told to me and I don’t want to say that he’s a lair but I just feel like there’s something,like a last piece of puzzle that is missing to complete the whole puzzle. I couldn’t help but feel like that and if he will not tell me I can ask to others. I took everybody at his home and the last stop was Harry’s house,he was the last one because his house was a bit far from the others. We didn’t talk during the whole trip to his house,just some glances and questions like”could you close the window?”or “can you lower the volume of the radio?”.   
This was so strange and usually we talk about a lot of things but since then he seemed strange as if something was bothering him. We finally reach to his house. Harry was spacing out for a moment and I had to repeat three times that he was arrived. “Harry you are arrived.” I said for the third time and he looked at me surprised as if he has just woke up from a dream. “Mm, yes thank you. It was a really nice trip,we will see tomorrow for the scene.”he said making a lightly smile and then he took his stuff and went out from the car. He greeted me and once again he made that smile,even that was strange because there was something in wrong with it. It was sad,a kind of sad smile that was my impression. Maybe it must be my imagination. I looked for the last time to see if he entered already inside his house. I started the engine and took the way towards my house.   
“Hi honey,did you send everyone to their home?”asked smiling Ester while she came towards me as I entered in the house.   
I nodded and gave a lightly kiss on her lips and smiled. “Did you enjoy the trip?”I asked.  
Ester smiled and began to talk about what Emeroude and the others girls did. “I’m so tired, I’m gonna take a shower.” Ester nodded and went in the living room to turn on the TV. I went in my bedroom and put the luggage on the floor and taking off my cloths. I entered in the bathroom and regulated the shower and let the hot water flowing on my body,I was enjoying it until some flashback came in my mind. [ I was walking on the stairs to go in my room because Harry said he wanted to sleep and so I reached him a bit later. My head felt so dizzy and heavy and I was laughing without any particular reason and then I remembered that I saw someone already in the bed,probably he was Harry but I don’t remembered well because my sight was quite blurry.]   
And then what happened? I’m sure that something happened and according to what Harry told me it was true till a part but there was something that was missing. But what?   
Maybe I need to ask to him. It’s not that I don’t trust him or that I think something terrible happened but he seemed a bit nervous but probably it was just he was tired since he slept few hours. I needed to ask him,I can call him.   
I will see once I finished the shower.   
(Harry PV)  
I came home and I was greeted by Shelby and my lovely dog,Charlie. It was so beautiful to see them again even if it’s has been only 3 days.   
I enjoyed the trip but since ‘that’ happened coming home was a kind of salvation.  
But here the worst came,Shelby kissed me and I kissed her back making a smile. But suddenly the feeling of guilty came in my mind but I tried to avoid it. I love so much Shelby but that feeling of guilty won’t leave my mind,like a scar that will stay forever on your skin but you will always remember what caused that wound.  
“I’m sorry if I didn’t come but I was a little bit sick. How went the trip?”she asked me.   
I smiled at her and began to talk about all the funny things we did and of course I didn’t say about the accident that happened that night.  
“I’m so tired and I had lack of sleep,I will go and take a shower. Probably I will take a nap.”I kissed her on her lips and went towards my room.


	8. Chapter 8

(Harry PV)  
I was so tired but the guilty,the things that happened during those three days,those thoughts and what I have done was torturing me. But the question was,did I regret what I have done? I felt like I betrayed my beautiful wife,no. I betrayed her and she doesn’t deserve this. But how can I fix this? Maybe I should tell to someone,but to who? Who I should tell all the guilty things I did? It was my heart who wanted it,maybe I’m in love with both? That’s not possible,I’m straight and this will be always like this. What the hell should I do? I can try to erase these feelings and make a stop to all of this. No,I can’t run away. Not from this situation I wrote myself into,I have to say it to him. As if I have the courage. Damn!! Why the hell should I do?! I laid on my bed and tried to sleep. Those thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone,the kept coming after me and torment me even in my sleep. I can’t say it to him,not him. Fuck.... what did I get into?! Why I have these feelings?! “I CANT!! I CANT DO THIS!! FUCK!!”. I yelled grabbing my hair with my hands,I kneeled beside my bed and cried putting my hands on my face as if I was ashamed to even dare to have my face expose.  
I heard a knock.   
“Harry? Are you okay? I heard a noise.” Shelby asked worried. I tried to keep my calm and answered calmly. “Y-Yes... I’m sorry,I will go to sleep now. I’m sorry for this but can you sleep in the other room? I’m so sorry Shelby. I’m not feeling well and I don’t want you to have a fever.”I said trying to not expose my broken voice. Shelby stayed for some seconds in silent . “Yes my dear,if you need anything jut ask me. Don’t worry,it’s not a problem.”she said. I know she’s a bit hurt but I don’t want her to see me like this. To see me so disgusting,so guilty. This means that I love him then?   
I wish I don’t have these feelings,I was supposed to love only her because I fell in live with her but when he showed up,when that man showed up,two years passed and my feelings for him grew only more and that scares me. But I can’t do this to her,to him and neither to everyone I care. Why I’m feeling like this?! “Stop! Go away filthy feelings...go away...you’re ruining my life...” I whispered to myself while sobbing and tears were wetting the sheets. I looked at my phone,it was only 9 pm and I didn’t feel like going to sleep.   
How was I supposed to sleep?   
Suddenly my phone rang,who calls me at this hour? I looked at the screen and saw that it was him. Matthew. What if he remembered what happened?! What if... I need to calm down first,I have to answer to him calmly or he will notice that something is wrong.  
(Matt PV)  
I decided to call Harry,maybe he was sleeping but I need to ask him what happened. I have to or it will be later. Wait,why I want to call him and why I want to know? Do I not trust my best friend? What I’m thinking,it’s just that he seemed acting strange. I know it’s not a good time but tomorrow it seems too late.  
I picked my phone and typed Harry’s number.  
I waited five minutes,I was about to hung up and then a voice answered to the phone.  
“Matt?”asked the voice. Maybe he was sleeping. “It’s me Harry,I’m sorry for calling you now I wanted to ask you something.” He stayed in silence and then I heard a sigh. “Matt,I’m sorry but can we talk tomorrow? I’m tired. We can see each other tomorrow,goodnight.” I didn’t have the time to answer to him that he quickly hung up. What’s wrong with him? Maybe he is not feeling well? This is strange.  
But the crazy thing is that I feel somehow happy to have heard his voice. What’s wrong with me too? It must be my imagination. Surely is cause is my best friend and I’m happy when we talk. I will text to him tomorrow.   
(Harry PV)  
I was too afraid to even hear his answer and I hanged up without even listen to what he wanted to say to me. I laid on my bed and closed my eyes,it was then that I fell asleep thinking about tomorrow meeting with him.


	9. Chapter 9

I never thought that this was going to happens,why? Why all of this happened?   
How can I find the right words to tell him what I feel? To tell all of this? To tell that I felt this for some moths and I just realised it now that I’m in love with him? How can I betray my wonderful wife,how can I love him if I have a wife which I love? Why life is so hard.   
“What’s it Harry? Tell me what’s wrong. I have seen you that since we left from the trip you acted strange. What’s going on? You know,I’m always here for you if you need help. I’m your friend.”he said. That’s the problem,I can’t see you as a friend anymore,I have done such things to you and I’m sure you will change your mind if you only knew what I have done to my best friend. But I can’t help,I’m in love with him and I can’t deny it. But I can’t do this anymore,I can’t hide my feelings anymore. I will say it and put an end to all of this. We were in Matt house because outside it started to rain and we couldn’t be outside. There wasn’t his girlfriend beside she was gone for work and she will have arrived tomorrow. I was staring at him without saying a word,because they couldn’t get out from my mouth. I wanted to say it but I was too afraid to even look at him in the face.   
“I-I... I am...”I began but stopped in the middle of the conversation. Matt looked at me confuse and waited for me to complete the sentence.   
I could feel my eyes becoming wet and tears began to go out slowly from my eyes.   
“What’s it Harry? Just tell me.” Matt was a bit pissed off since I was taking too much for answer. I took a deep breath,one and two times. “I...I love you... I fell in love with you Matthew.” I said while tears were flowing on my face and I regretted saying it,I wanted to come back but I couldn’t. I made it. But the silence was killing me,Matthew was staring at me without any expression as if he was too shocked to even answer.   
“Ahahaha,so funny Harry. This isn’t a joke and we are not acting.” I tried to hold back my tears because I was going to burst into a cry if I hadn’t hold them back. But they were too stronger and I couldn’t stop them.   
I bursted into a loud cry as a baby that wanted to eat.   
Matt looked at me worried and he immediately took my hands and looked at me in the face. “T-This is not a joke... Harry... you shouldn’t say this,you shouldn’t feel this.   
Because all of this is wrong.”he said. But I stopped him putting a hand on his mouth.  
“I-I don’t want to hear what’s is wrong and right. I don’t care. I know it’s wrong,I know I shouldn’t feel all of this but I can’t just erase all of this and I can’t lie to myself.” I sobbed and looked away from his face. “Harry... please look at me. I didn’t mean to be so mean to you,just listen.”he said trying to catch my stare but I kept staring at the floor without saying a word. “Please say something...” he said.  
I looked at him straight in the eyes this time and tears came out again. “What do I have to say?!? What do I have to do?!? I’m disgusting right?!? I’m married and I’m in love with my best friend,which I shouldn’t be!!! And you tell me what’s wrong?!? Fuck you!! I’m sorry for have these feelings,I’m sorry for have ruined your life!!”I yelled with all the voice I had.  
Matt looked at me shocked,he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This seemed to unreal but it was real,it was the reality.   
“H-Harry p-“ but I cut him off, “NO! Just don’t say anything,I don’t want to hear anything.  
You want to know what happened when we were drunk that time?”I yelled. I couldn’t hold back anymore my feelings,all the guilty and the feeling of dirty. Matt nodded. “Yes”he said.  
“I made you a blowjob! I-I was drunk and I couldn’t think straight and then there was you who said to me to knee on my feet and... I couldn’t hold back anymore.”I said sobbing.  
Matt looked at me with a strange and indescribable expression.


	10. Chapter 10 END

(Matt PV)  
I couldn’t believe those words coming from his mouth,he did that? He did that to me. And it was even my fault because I asked him,we were both drunk. But that’s not only the point,he just said that he loves me. I can’t believe it,it’s so incredible and it feels so unrealistic but it’s the reality. I was staring at him without saying anything,only my thoughts were speaking and words couldn’t come out from my mouth. But what should I say? What should I do? Do I fee the same? What I’m thinking,I love my girlfriend and this can’t be true because I don’t feel anything for him,do I?  
But I wasn’t really mad,I know that when someone is drunk do stupid things. I’m mad because he lied to me and didn’t say anything until now.  
“Please...just only one thing.” He said with a broke voice as if he was about to cry again,he was sobbing. I looked at him and sighed.   
“Look Harry-“I interrupted myself because I saw that he was trying to not cry. “For the last time and I will never ask you again and do anything to you again. Let me kiss you,please.”  
He asked trying to not cry while he wiped away a tears from his eyes. I looked at him seriously,a bit scare but I will do for him so all of this will end.   
He didn’t broke the gaze from me,he came closer and closed his eyes.   
I felt a soft lips on mine,they were brushing with my lips and the kiss went further,more deeper.  
I was caught by it,I kissed him so many times for the Malec scenes but this felt so sad and good somehow. I didn’t know what I was feeling anymore but a weird feeling was coming in my body,something so strange but good.  
I started to kiss him,I continued the kiss and slowly I put my hands on his face as if I was scared that he will get away. What I’m doing?   
I don’t know anymore. I get lost in this feeling,in this kiss. I never thought that I will felt something so new with him. But in that moment I forgot everything that was around me and focused only on him. He put his hands on my waist and didn’t let go from the kiss. We both get lost in it but I had to stop it or this will go too further and it can’t happens.   
“H-Harry...”I breathed heavily into his lips when we broke it for a second. I was staring at at him and looked straight into his eyes.   
He looked at me as if he was in a dream but when he looked better it felt like he was about to burst into a cry. “W-We need to stop. This isn’t right.” I said. “Tell me straight in my eyes that you didn’t feel anything and I will stop. Tell me that you don’t feel anything from the kiss,tell me. Just tell me.”tears were flowing from his chocolate eyes as he was staring at me. I didn’t know what to say,think. My mind mind was so confuse and I couldn’t voice what it was the right thighs to say.   
What I really feel? And so I made the biggest mistake because I was unable to choice,to react to the reality. I don’t know why but I did,unable to choice,to know my what I really feel and unable to speak. But my heart spoke for me without my consent,my unconscious choose for me and my heart.   
He looked at me waiting for the answer,waiting for my answer. I kissed him deeply,at first he was confuse and surprised but then he get lost and get along with it. We walked slowly through my room as if we were afraid to lose each other,as if all of this will end soon.   
I sat on my bed and put him gently on my legs and we stared at each other for a while until he kissed me again. I laid on the bed,giving to him the permission to touch me,to unbutton me.  
He kissed on my neck,he was exploring it giving me kiss over all my neck while he was slowly taking off my shirt.   
I leading my hands towards him to do the same to him,unbuttoning his shirt. In some minutes we were shirtless,breathing heavily as if we had just ran. He stared at me waiting for my permission while his hands were on my pants. I licked on my lost lips and breathed heavily. He pulled off my pants slowly as if he was afraid to make the wrong move. I was left in my boxer with Harry who was staring at me. He pulled them slowly and my dick was exposed,hard from the kiss and begged for be touched. Without broken the stare he put his hand below at the same high as my cock and then he put it in his mouth. He was licking the center of it with slowly movements,I grabbed his hair with my hands as he kept sucking harder my cock.  
Moans weren’t stopping from coming from my mouth,I get lost in this forbidden pleasure.  
“M-More...give me more”I breathed heavily.  
He undressed himself and exposed his hard cock and breathed gasping for air.  
I contorted my body and put my head back. “Ahhhh....”I moaned. He pulled off his mouth from my cock with a white thing that came out from his mouth. He was breathing heavily to catch some air. “P-Put it in.” I almost begged. What was happening to me? I begged for him to enter me,I was really going insane. He took a deep breath and slowly he spread my legs that were already a bit spread due to the blowjob he made,he licked his lips and started to spread my hole with his fingers. “A-Are you sure? Is this your answer then?”he asked me without stopping and stared at me. I nodded and after some seconds I felt a slim and hot thing inside me. “Ahh!”I screamed. He began to move slowly,slow thrusting while he was staring at me. “Ahhh...!” I moaned. He made a strong thrust and began to move faster than before.  
“M-Matthew... I-I can’t stop.”he said breathless. “H-Harry...” I said gasping for air.  
We did it. Now we were laying inside the sheets,staring into each other eyes.   
“You know that this will never lead to anywhere,there’s no future in this,there’s no happy ending in this. This will never be a happy ending as it is in Malec. This will leave pain,will take us to a blind road.”I said while tears came out from my eyes in slow motion. Harry looked at me deeply. “I know. But this is you answer,our answer. This is our forbidden secret which nobody should knows.”he said.


End file.
